Anita Wagner’s “Open Letter” to the polyamory community (re: World Polyamory Association initiative)
Subject: About Forming an Umbrella Organization for the Poly Community
From: ITCR - Anita Wagner imapolygirl -_at_- yahoo.com
Date: Sat, 3 Jul 2004 12:51:40 -0700 (PDT)
Hi everyone -
As a polyamory activist I am sharing this with you as an open letter
to the polyamory community.
I want to say right up front that I appreciate the energy and
enthusiasm demonstrated by Janet and Sasha Lessin, their sense of
commitment, and their plans for the World Polyamory Association. If
I may, please allow me to respectfully share a few thoughts about the
proposed creation of an “umbrella poly organization,” especially one
that specifically is based on progressive theory and sensibilities as
described by Sasha’s announcement posted to a variety of lists
yesterday (and included at the end of this message for reference). I
appreciate your giving them your consideration.
PART I - An Umbrella Organization as proposed by Janet and Sasha.
As an activist with several years experience working with and
learning about the ways in which non-profit organizations thrive or
fail, I have come to recognize that there is much to be carefully and
soberly considered before this community should be expected to
support *any* new large-scale organization. I’ve consulted on this
subject often along the way with my poly partner, Jim Fleckenstein,
who has more than 25 years experience as a certified association
executive. A central initial consideration *must* be whether any
such organization will be made more or less effective by being
identified with any particular political, social or spiritual point
of view or set of practices.
I firmly believe that polyamory requires no political, social, or
spiritual “litmus test” in order to be embraced as one’s relationship
configuration/philosophy of choice. In fact, as demonstrated by
significant numbers of people I have met who are living poly lives
who encompass a wide variety of political, religious and social
points of view, many of them not members of this community by choice,
I KNOW it doesn’t and that, in fact, overlaying it with issues that
make it appear to be inextricably linked with them is *contrary* to
the community’s best interests. It is with each and every
polyamorist in mind that I approach the subject at hand.
There are many practicing polys of moderate, libertarian, or even
conservative political orientation. There are many who do not
embrace Tantric practices, or practice any of the various forms of
non-monotheistic spirituality. There are polys of every possible
economic status with every possible level of commitment (or lack of
same) to the advancement of every conceivable social agenda.
Many have not joined the existing polyamory community by choice
because they found its extreme liberal progressive image offputting.
I have personally encountered many such people within the swing and
BDSM communities, for example, through my work with the Institute for
21st Century Relationships and the National Coalition for Sexual
Freedom. These folks often play roles where they contribute
significant time, energy, and financial resources to the local and
national swing and BDSM events and organizations they support. In
many instances, they checked us out and walked away without providing
similar support here because they didn’t feel they would be safe or
welcomed in our community if they were open in being who *they* are
as polyamorists. How do I know? Because I wanted to know and asked,
over and over again, whenever I encountered someone(s) whom I knew
not to be participating members of the poly community and who
disclosed to me that they were also polyamorous and seemed willing to
chat about the topic.
If people in this community wish to establish poly groups that
expressly embrace specific political/social/spiritual philosophies,
they can and should surely do so. Love+Politics in the San Francisco
Bay area is one such group. The PolyGreens are another. The UUpolys
still another, and yes, the World Polyamory Association yet another.
There absolutely is room for a wide range of what may be called “poly
plus” groups of many kinds.
That said, I urge everyone to consider that inclusiveness and
egalitarianism is the way to go for any proposed broad-based
poly-representative non-profit organization. In order to be viewed
by the rest of the world as a credible voice for polyamorists, we
must keep the mission focused *only* on polyamory and offer services
and support to *all* poly people. Period.
In the wake of Loving More’s apparent rigor mortis, there could be an
uncontrolled rush to establish multiple organizations based on many
agendas. However, we as a community must ask if it is necessary (or
even wise) to have two (or more) competing organizations simply in
order to get everyone’s needs met? By competing, I mean
organizations that must compete for a limited pool of donations,
memberships, and volunteer labor. As is often said, 90% of the labor
in volunteer organizations gets done by 10% of the people. Our “ten
percent” - those who possess the commitment, energy and skills to
develop and guide a nonprofit - is quite possibly so small that
assembling just *one* team skillful enough to put a professional face
on a poly group that will pass muster with info seekers, media and
the opposition may present a daunting challenge. Can we afford the
luxury of spreading ourselves thin by trying to create multiple
groups right now?
PART II: The Alternative
After months and several well-intended efforts by various people from
within the community that ultimately proved to be false starts, a
constructive and deliberate discussion has recently begun taking
place amongst a small but growing group of seasoned poly leaders
regarding the creation of a new, more broadly representative
nonprofit organization for the poly community - one that will not
cater to *any* special interest group. The organization under
discussion would be a linked 501(c)(3) and 501(c)(4) nonprofit
organization. Specific programs and activities have not yet been
fleshed out, pending both qualitative and quantitative input from the
community itself. But it almost certainly will produce a magazine or
newsletter, hold conferences, be a resource for information about
poly relating, dealing with child custody problems, and will a strong
speakers bureau and poly advocacy component that will advocate for
the rights of all polyamorists. In time, there will undoubtedly be
“homes” within it for all of the various sub-interests associated
with poly.
The group’s name has not been designated yet, but suggestions from
the community would be most welcome. As a nonprofit membership
organization, it will belong to all its members. Its mission will be
to serve polyamorists and it will not be controlled by or belong to
any individual, family or cabal. My only reason for being the
person to address these issues is that I am motivated to do so, and
there isn’t enough structure in place for the job to be delegated to
anyone in particular. However, the form and values I’ve articulated
have resonated with the discussion group, and it seems that the
process is ready to move forward as soon as there are enough talented
people in place to make it happen - in a measured and carefully
thought-out way.
There is no intention to be secretive about this process. For
example, prior to yesterday’s announcement, I spoke at length with
Janet and Sasha as well as several others about participating in the
ongoing discussion. If you are a polyamorist who has been
considering creating an organization or you believe you have valuable
skills and energy to contribute to the formation of one, I urge you
to contact me and become a part of this process.
From what I’ve seen to date, all the poly leaders and potential
umbrella organization founders want is to give polys what they need
and desire to the best of their ability, a gift of love, if you will,
in the form of a viable entity that cares about, gives a public voice
to, and seeks to empower a strong, thriving polyamory community with
room for all.
My poly leadership colleagues and colleagues-to-be may well wish to
comment on all this as well, and I hope they, and you, will feel free
to do so.
Enthusiastically and respectfully,
Anita Wagner
WORLD POLYAMORY ASSOCIATION
The World Polyamory Association would like to sponsor poly
conferences in the NE, SE, NW, SW, Mid North, Mid South, USA. I
think it would be nice to have at least 6 regional conferences in the
US and expand to other countries as we get volunteers to help make
them happen. Once we build these conferences, then perhaps we can
have a HUGE national conference on the line of the Lifestyles (which
has about 3000 attendees), somewhere central near a large city like
Chicago, Vegas or Denver.
The World Polyamory Association is the umbrella for all the other
poly organizations. We will list ALL of the organizations on our web
site.
This is an organization and network for all polys and poly-friendly
folks internationally. It’s an ongoing entity that will survive any
one single person. It belongs to all of us.
I think it’s time we take the polyamory movement to the next level.
We need to get more vocal. Same sex marriages are hot, on the front
burner and we polys need to catch this wave and ride it straight on
home to the courts, along with gays and lesbians. We also need to
connect with the swingers because from my research I’ve discovered
most are really poly, they just haven’t heard the word.
It’s also time for the CHOICE movement in this, the SUMMER OF PEACE.
I have three associations I’m forming to help shift consciousness on
a major scale, right now, this summer. They are the World Polyamory
Association, the World Tantra Association and the World Peace
Association. We’re moving forward with web sites, conferences,
events, networking, synergizing. If you want to help with any or all
of these projects let me know.
Peace, Love, Freedom, Happiness, call me an old hippie but that’s my
theme.
Michael Moore’s new movie is out, sweeping the nation. Sasha and I
along with others just sponsored David Icke (the world-famous
conspiracy writer) (http://www.davidicke.com/) and we had about 3500
people in two events; one here in Maui and one in LA.
David and Pamela Icke stayed with us and we spent many, many hours
discussing the Matrix, physics, relationships and the nature of
reality. David supports both polyamory and tantra and sees them as
high-spiritual paths designed to set humanity free from the bullshit
that limits our freedom. This is a global movement. Both tantra and
polyamory, consciousness-raising paths will help shift the
Morphogenic Field, like the Hundredth Monkey Theory, and catapult the
world to global peace. Both support partnership. Both wake us up to
higher realities.
Move over Bush and the Patriarchy. Equal rights, freedom for all is
HERE NOW!
